Hi there Eminem fans! Welcome back to another segment of All Thing Eminem, a Slim Sadie Publication. As promised, this week’s post will finalize our History of Eminem series. We will be discussing what I find to be Eminem’s most inspirational triumph - his sobriety.
Of course, I need to give credit where credit is due, so I’d like to state from the beginning that the majority of my information for this post comes from three documentaries that can be found on Youtube. The documentaries are The Story of Eminem - Full Documentary, Eminem: Behind the Lyrics and Eminem Documentary: History Life & Career. Any sources I use outside of those three will be linked in the corresponding section.
Let’s begin.
Eminem’s drug addiction started about 20 years ago. In 2002, Eminem starred in the movie, 8 mile, a movie that was semi-based on his life growing up in Detroit. While filming the movie, Marshall would spend up to 16 hours on set every day. This intense work cycle caused the star to develop insomnia. He was prescribed medication to help him sleep, but he, unfortunately, became dependent on it. He hints at his insomnia and pill taking behaviors in 2005, with his hit song “When I’m Gone.” In this song, he describes a scene where his daughter calls him out, she says,
“It’s no wonder you can’t go to sleep, just take another pill, yeah I bet you you will.”
Later in 2005, Eminem cancelled the European leg of his Anger Management Tour to enter rehab for his dependency on sleep medicine. The star came out of that rehab and relapsed. This happened a few times. It took multiple relapses and even an overdose to keep Eminem sober. He wrote about his overdose in the song “Arose” from his 2017 album, Revival.
“If I could rewind time like a tape, inside a boombox, one for every pill or Percocet that I ate. Cut down on the Valium. I’d have heard everything, but death is turning so definite - wait!”
“Arose” is very much a Marshall Mathers’ piece. The song is written like a reflective poem or a dying letter. It has one long verse and no repeated chorus. I highly recommend listening to the song, because it truly shows his character. These are his dying thoughts. It doesn’t get any more honest than that. It doesn’t get much more vulnerable either.
Of course, Marshall didn’t really have these thoughts while he was in the hospital; They were after thoughts. Marshall was unconscious in the hospital. Someone found him on his bathroom floor and rushed him to the hospital. They’re lucky they found him when they did, because when he arrived at the hospital, he was only 2 hours away from dying. His kidneys and liver were already starting to shut down. The Sun said that Eminem had taken the equivalent of four bags of heroin. Still, the star checked out of the hospital a few days early to make it home to his family, or perhaps take more pills. He did both.
I’d love to tell you that you didn’t relapse after his overdose. I’d love to tell you that he straightened up after being so close to death, but I have to be honest. And unfortunately that honesty is not super inspirational. Maybe he was less phased by his near death experience, because he had been close to death before; he did attempt suicide after his first album, Infinite, flopped. Or maybe death wasn’t so scary with his best friend, Proof, waiting for him beyond the veil. Or maybe, he just thought death was inevitable.
In 2013, Eminem was interviewed for a documentary called “How to Make Money Selling Drugs.” During the interview, Eminem said that he thought death would be his bottom. He didn’t actually think he was going to be able to overcome his addiction. He couldn’t actually imagine a life without pills; the pills had consumed him.
The song, “Never Love Again,” from his 2020 album, Music to be Murdered By, perfectly sums up his struggle with sobriety and relapses. When I first heard the song, I thought he had written it about Kim, because of the way he discusses love and abuse. But after hearing it a few more times, there were just too many drug references for it to be about anything other than his addiction.
“You’re so much of a handful. I can only take so much of you all at one time, because too much of you is just too much to swallow sometimes. Gotta take you in doses. But when you’re not at my side, I shake in convulces, separation anxiety.”
Aside from the lyrical and metaphorical masterpiece that “Never Love Again” is, the piece explains the root of his addiction. For Eminem, addiction was just another abusive relationship. If you remember from History of Eminem Pt 2, Eminem was in two very severe abusive relationships; one with his mother, Debbie, and the other with Kim. It was very hard for him to leave these relationships, probably due to the abandonment brought on by his father and uncles that I discussed in History of Eminem Pt 1.
See, Marshall Mathers was very comfortable in long lasting abusive relationships. In his song, “Bad Husband,” he compares the difficulty of leaving his abusive relationship with Kim to that of sawing off a body limb. If his relationship with drugs was anywhere close to that of his abusive relationship with Kim, then it’s no wonder it was so hard for him to quit the pills.
Still, he did quit, and it was his fatherhood that pushed him toward sobriety. MTV quotes the film, “How to Make Money Selling Drugs,” where Eminem says, “I’m looking at my kids, and [realizing] ‘I need to be here for this.’” After making his decision to ditch the addiction, Eminem says he was up for 24 hours a day for 3 weeks straight, detoxing. He joined a 12 step program, and got some help from a fellow star, Elton John. He also began running and rapping sober to fill his high. And on April 20th, 2019 Eminem tweeted this..
In just eight days, Eminem will be 13 years sober. Wow.
His father and uncles abandoned him. He suffered a disastrous brain injury. He lived through multiple abusive relationships. And lost his best friend. This man has enough trauma for seven people. I don’t even judge him for turning to drugs. Drug addiction ran in his family and runs rampid in his career. I’m honestly surprised the addiction didn’t start soon with alcohol and drugs being such normalized coping mechanisms. I can just see people in the industry saying, “Here, take this, it’ll make you feel better.”
But he got clean, and getting clean couldn’t have been easy. Recovery is hard. It’s probably something like sawing off a body limb. The fact that he made it through and is still sober almost 13 years later, blows my mind. He really almost died and then turned it around completely. He defied the odds, and it’s incredible.
I know that his sobriety story won’t speak to everyone. But as someone who has watched the effects of addiction destroy a person, this story screams at me. Maybe you can relate more to an absentee parent or childhood bullying or any other number of Eminem’s traumas. Either way, he gives us all something. And maybe that’s why we like him so much; he has a little piece for everyone. He suffered in so many ways that one of those ways has to be similar to our own suffering. And then we watched him overcome all of it, and we just can’t help but think that maybe, our own growth is possible too.
See, it’s not just inspiration. It’s admiration. It’s “I want to be like Marshall Mathers and overcome my demons.” It’s “I want to be strong like Marshall and hold my ground.” It’s “I want to break out of this cage. I want to walk through this storm. And I want to be Not Afraid.”
That’s it for the final part of the History of Eminem series. I hope you enjoyed it and learned something new. I’m also hoping to continue that trend for you in next week’s post. I’m thinking it’s time to start breaking down the lyrics to some of Eminem’s songs. If you have any song suggestions or would just like to share your thoughts on this week’s post, please comment below!
Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you next week on All Things Eminem!
I had no idea that he achieved sobriety. Your narrative of eminem has reshaped a number of my perceptions about him.
Hey Faith! It was incredible to read about the challenges Marshall had to overcome in his life. I used to listen to him daily and really enjoyed his lyrics. They were unique. I knew he struggled with addiction but I had no idea it was brought on from his movie "8 Mile." He is such a strong willed person and I'm happy he was able to over come this addiction. Like you said, this shows in his songs as well. Awesome post, thank you!